Seasons and Identities

We are not identified by our seasons of life.  This is something I feel like the Lord has been teaching me lately.  Let’s face it, we have all gone through some type of season.  Hopeless and heartache, pain and suffering, loss and set-backs, stress and frustrations.  Yet we often carry these circumstances around as if they belong to us. 

I’ve gone through my fair share of tough seasons.  I’ve walked through the seasons of hopelessness.  I’ve walked through the seasons of discouragement, despair, loneliness, hurt, rejection, and anger.  Yet, I am not defined by them.  I remember carrying these “feelings” around like it belonged to me.  Leaving my house, I would make a mental note: got my phone- check, kids-check, purse-check, emotional baggage-double check.  I became aware of what I was doing when I stumbled upon an old diary/journal I had kept during the time. My attitude sucked.  But was I mopey, and whiney.  I was drenched in self-pity.  I am not discrediting the pain I was actually in or the hurt I was experiencing.  No, because let’s face it.  Those feelings are real.  Why are so many on medication or committing suicide?  Because their feelings have gotten the better of them.  Depression is real.  So real that it’s not only natural but supernatural! 

But as I re-read my journal I wasn’t so much taken by the actual experience I was having but my attitude about it.  It was like something had caught my spirit’s attention.  I realized that if I was so struck by my attitude, how much more was God?  Don’t get me wrong, I know he is all loving, understanding and genuinely caring.  But I can tell you that it wasn’t my whining that moved him.  Only faith can do that. 

Hebrews says faith is the substance of things hoped for, yet the evidence of things not seen.  Also, without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). My feelings regarding my situation were way too big than my faith in who I was in Christ. 

If we are seated in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6) then why are we so concerned about earthly things?  I believe it’s because we get our eyes off of who we are and Whose we are and we put it on what we are going through. 

Shadows always come with light.  If you turn a light on, you will most likely find a shadow somewhere.  When we focus ourselves on the Light of the World, our shadow stays behind us.  When we turn and look at our shadow (i.e. what we are going through.  What we are feeling.  What’s been done to us) then we miss the light completely. 

our identity is in the light.  Be in the light as he is in the light (1 John 1:7).  If our identity is in Christ, he’s in light and is light, shouldn’t we be light as well?  Hint* the answer is YES.  We are to be salt and light.

Before we can be light, we need to throw off our rags of hurt, rejection, pain and suffering, anger, frustration, loneliness, bitterness, depression, and everything else that isn’t from Heaven.  Then we need to put on the cloak of righteousness.  We are the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus.  If we don’t understand that, then his death and resurrection was in vain.  If we don’t understand that our sins are forgiven and that the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in us, then the cross was for nothing. 

If that resurrection power raised Jesus from the dead, then it most certainly can raise you out of your situation. 

Do not identity yourself with past seasons or current seasons of hurt or disappointment.  If we want to be steadfast when storms of life come, then our roots of who we are need to be deep in 1) the Father’s love and 2) the Word of God. 

Is There Special Grace?

As I look back over the last few days, no, years of my life, I realize there have been times I’ve been intimate with the Lord.  But lately I feel so detached.  What gives?  As a mom, my time is precious to me.  If I want to work out, I must get up at 5:30 in the morning to do so or wait for them to go to bed at 8.  But seriously, who has the energy to work out that late?  Yes, I said 8 pm is late!  Not to mention my quiet time with my Heavenly Father.  I crave intimacy and quietness with Him.  But like I mentioned before, time just slips through your hands.  I’ve had my “quiet times” when the kids played quietly in the living room, or when I’ve put a movie on for them or when they played in their rooms.  But I cannot bank on that every day. 

Today, I felt starved for His presence.  Dinner had to be made.  I had to make a quick run to the store because I forgot to get everything I needed for dinner.  The hubby was working late.  The kids were literally at each other.  If I heard, “sstttooooppppp. Mommmm, he/she did…” I was going to scream!  Who am I kidding?  I did scream.  A little.  Ok, a lot! 

But isn’t there some kind of special grace given to us moms during these “trying” times?  I seriously cannot make one day without sitting with Jesus.  Not just reading the bible, but listening to his voice.  Where do we fit that in?  I for one have been asking God to make the time I spend with him count.  Sometimes, all I have is 5 minutes.  And He knows that.  Sometimes all I have is putting a movie on and laying on my bed praying and worshipping.  And I have found out, He meets me there.  I don’t have to wait for Sunday to come.  I don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn (unless I choose to), and I don’t have to wait for everyone to go to bed.  I have been washing dishes before and began to worship Almighty God. 

So by writing this I have basically answered my questions.  I know why I felt depleted today.  I know why my patience ran thin.  I know why I allowed stress to take over.  Because I chose to focus on my shadows and not the true Light.  His light is to drive out darkness.  His light on my life, and yours, is to drive out all the distractions that keep us from truly stepping into his presence. 

So tomorrow is a new day.  tomorrow I choose to spend quality time with Jesus.  Even if it’s 10 minutes, I choose to turn off the distractions.  I choose to set aside the time I need to charge up my spirit man.  Because I CANNOT parent without it.  I cannot be the wife I need to be either.  I cannot be the woman of God he’s called me to be either without the intimacy I get from spending time in His presence.

Mindsets Rooted in Identity

I want to share with you something that has been on my mind lately.  That is the word MINDSETS.  Our mindsets and identity are intertwined. Last night before I went to bed, I heard the Lord specifically ask me: “How long did it take Esther to shift her mindset to queen?” 

Think about that.  All her life she was an orphan, Jewish girl living in a foreign country.  Yet was chosen as queen of Persia.  Even though she seemed forced into her new role, there was still a period of transition I’m sure.  Her identity shifted from rejected to royalty.  In Esther 2:9 it says, “Esther pleased and gained favor with Hegai”, who was in charge of the beauty treatments.  Then in 2:10 it says “Esther did not reveal her ethnic background or her birthplace.”  I think it’s important to note here she may have concealed her identity because she didn’t want to be labeled as such. Maybe concealing who she thought herself to be helped her in revealing who she was meant to be.

So we find her at the beginning of her time in the palace as a quiet person.  If she remained quiet about who she was, chances are she just remained pretty quiet in general.  All you private, quiet people would agree to that?

Then we see her in chapter 5, verse 1: Esther is dressed in her royal clothing and standing in the inner court.  The place that was forbidden unless otherwise summoned.  She found favor by the king and we find her not only talking but requesting audience with the king and his right hand man.  Whoa! What stirred her fire? 

 I pondered this most of the night and literally found myself asking the same question:  Why do I still carry the mindset of earthly living when I am co-heirs with Christ? 

I am a citizen of heaven.  I am seated in heavenly places with Christ, yet I am a foreigner here on earth. (Ephesians 2:6).  To be real honest, I will look at my earthly or external circumstances and wonder what to do with it.  For example: when money is tight, I start conjuring ways to “fix” the problem.  Not saying that isn’t practical or smart.  But, what if we start tackling these issues spiritually?  Instead of looking at my situations from an earthly perspective, I look at them from the heavenly places I’m seated at. 

It’s like I have to shift my thinking mindset from what I think I am to who I really am.  I am a child of God.  I am a daughter of a king.  I am blessed and highly favored.  I am called according to a purpose.  I am divinely created.  I am more than a conqueror.  I am the head and not the tail. 

Every morning at breakfast I have the kids repeat after me and this is what I say:

I am:

Divinely created

Highly favored

Set apart

Then I will say:

I am the head and they say- not the tail

I am above- not beneath

I am a leader- not a follower.

What does Proverbs 23:7 say?  “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”  Or how’s this?  “Faith comes by hearing [what is told]…” Romans 10:17 AMP

If I can get myself to hear what I am confessing, I will believe it.  Same for my kids.  If I can get it rooted and grounded in them who they are, it will be a lot harder for them to believe otherwise.  If I had told one of my kids from day one that the sky is red, they would believe me.  But why do they believe me when I say it is blue?  Because first, they have a relationship with me.  And second, they have faith that what I am saying is truth.  The same can be true of our heavenly father.  Why or how should we believe what He says about us is true?  Because first, we must have a personal relationship with Him. And second, because we need to have faith that who He says we are in His word is who we are. 

 It’s so important for us as believers to know who we are and whose we are.  I love The Message version of Ephesians 6:13 “Be prepared.  You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own.  Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet.  Truth, righteousness, peace, faith and salvation are MORE than words.  Learn how to apply them.  You’ll need them throughout your life.  God’s word is an indispensable weapon.  In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare.”

In conclusion, this is where I am at.  I’m on a journey to shift my thinking from who I think I am here on earth, or who people may think I am, to who I really am.  Who God has called me to be.  Every believer who proclaims Jesus is Lord is now part of God’s royal bloodline. 

I would love to hear your thoughts or personal story on your journey of identity.  Remember, who we are is not what we do.  I’m a mom, wife, writer, daughter, friend, mentor, teacher, chaffer, Young Married’s leader at our church.  But that’s not who I am.  Do not mistake what you do or the achievements you’ve accomplished as your identity.

1 Peter 2:10 once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people…

Matthew 5:48 MSG in a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects.  Now live like it.  Love out your God created identity.  Live generously and graciously towards others, the way God lives toward you.

One more scripture.  Proverbs 12:3- you can’t find firm footing in a swamp, but life rooted in God stands firm.

That One Child

If you have more than one child most of the time, you have THAT one child.  In some cases, your only child is THAT child!  Yes, I’m talking about that strong willed, determined little person.  That one that you pray for continuously.  That one that is generally most like you.  That same one that creates opportunity for you to walk in peace and patience. Right?  I have such a child.

​And while I have a lot of respect and admiration for her “I will conquer this mountain” attitude, it seriously frustrates and challenges the life out of me.  Because at her precious age of 5, I’m 95% of the time her “mountain”!  Oh the joys!  And yes, there are times I fear the decisions I make regarding how to raise this child, but I cling more to the fact that God created her like this.  He knew she needed me, and her dad, to raise her and guide her into adulthood.  And that is as far as this “parenting mobile” will go.  Don’t get me wrong, I will always be there for her, but she will have to stand on her own two feet and make her own decisions.  That’s why it is hard now.  I have no idea where she will be in 12 years.  As a mom, I want to do everything I can to raise healthy adults, starting now.  

​With that being said, let me tell you how my day went yesterday.  So I homeschool, which I love.  I love this extra time with my kids.  Not always easy, but I consider it a blessing to have them home. While I was doing school with her older brother, I gave the ten-minute warning that her turn was coming up.  “sure mom, sounds good.”  Ten minutes go by and in the most cheerful voice you can image, “ok honey, it’s time to start your school.”  “Ugh, I hate reading.  I don’t want to do school.  I want to play.  I don’t like it.”  *Whine whine whine.  So I said, “sit here for a second while I go change out the clothes.”  In the utility room I was literally crying out to God, “oh please give me wisdom.  I can’t make her do it but how do I get through to her?  This attitude drives me crazy.” *whine whine whine!  

​So I came back to the table and this is pretty much what the conversation looked like:

ME: you ready to do some reading?  You’re almost done with the book.  

LINA: Oh I don’t want to.  I want to play.

ME: well, you know if you were in school you wouldn’t get the option to play right now?  You wouldn’t be able to get water when you wanted it or use the restroom right away.  Do I let you play when you are done with school?

LINA: yes, but I want to right now.

ME: so here’s what I’m going to tell you.  You will do reading today.  I would prefer you having a better attitude but that is your choice.  Are you ready to change your attitude and read?

LINA: *whine. I don’t know.

ME: This is what I’m going to do.  Because you want to play, you will not play until reading is done.  I’m setting the timer and you will sit at this table, even if it takes all day.  When the timer goes off, I will come back and we can talk about it.

​So I set the timer for 5 minutes while she sat at the table.  Once the timer went off I came back and asked if she was ready to have a good attitude.  So she whined a little more and said she didn’t want to do it.  At this point I’m thinking-was this a good idea?  Should I have just spanked her and got it over with? But I stuck with it.  (good thing she has a strong willed momma!)

ME: Lina, I’m going to set the timer again and we will talk about this after it goes off.  Just so we are clear, what are your options again?

LINA: I can read now with a good attitude or sit here until I change my attitude and still read.

ME: right! (she’s getting it I thought).  You still will have to read, but I want you to do it with a good attitude. I’m setting the timer, I’ll be back

​I set the timer for only 3 minutes this time, went to my bathroom and took a deep breath.  Let me just say, I was prepared to go all day if I had to.  If that meant she changed her attitude at 9:00 at night, so be it.  But I felt confident in my approach.  I was taking away the very thing she wanted-play.  I kept her at the table where she could see everyone playing.  I also explained to her that she could have read the story twice if she had a better attitude and could be playing right now.  Oh, there’s the timer again.  Deep breath, now let it out.  

ME: did you make a decision?

Flipped switch!

LINA: I’m ready to read mom. I can’t wait to read this story.  Wonder what is going to happen?

 

Praise ye the Lord, hallelujah.  I gave her the option to make her own choice.  Yea, I know she’s five, but if I’m training them for adulthood, this is where it begins.  Not when they are 13 and have had all their decisions made for them from the beginning.  But I did make plain the consequences for the wrong choice.  God does the same for us.  Even baby Christians have an innate conscience of right and wrong.  Yet, still have to make choices with repercussions to the wrong ones.  If my heavenly father parents this way, should we not?

Anyways, that was my experience yesterday with my girl.  I’ll have to write a post one day to elaborate more of this firefly.  Believe me when I say, there is more to her than meets the eye.  

Arise and Shine Conference

So I just hosted and spoke at my very first women's conference. You guys, I am blown away by the presence of the Holy Spirit that was there. First off, I expected maybe 20-25 women. There was close to 50 that showed up. The worship was amazing!  My new friend Sheena ushered us into the Lord's presence with true worship. I am thankful to have met her and for her to be apart of the conference. Her and her husband are directors at Global Impact School of Ministry in Bryan, Texas.  There website is http://www.globalimpactsom.com

Another friend of mine, Susan, came to speak at the afternoon session. Susan is founder and president of Love Never Fails Ministry. Her website is http://www.loveneverfailsministries.com

 Ladies, it was awesome. She tore the house up...in an incredibly good way!  She speaks truth without any color-coated, water down, religious doctrine!  I am absolutely blessed to hear her and also just as blessed that she came to this conference!

I also was able to speak. The Lord put the scripture Isaiah 60:1 on my heart, hence the theme for the conference...Time to Arise and Shine. 

Basically I wanted to encourage the women that we have a light inside us. And that light is a representation of Jesus and who he is in us. That our identity does not come from what we do but who we are in Christ. We are the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus. We are more than conquerors and we are overcomers.  We are the head and not the tail. 

Here's a small portion of notes regarding my message. 

Isaiah 60:1

ARISE, SHINE for your light has come. And the glory of the Lord RISES over you. 

Look at the capitalized words. The word "arise" means to get up from lying down. The word "shine" means to illuminate or be light. That word for shine is the same word used in Genesis 1:3 when God says "let there be LIGHT". So the same light he spoke into existence is living inside of you, inside me!  1 John 1:5 says God is light. It's God in us. Jesus in us. He is the light of the world. Our identity is found in Jesus. He even had an identity. He asked his disciples "who do people say the son of man is?"  Their response: some say you're a teacher or this or that."  It would be like me asking, "who do people say Kelly Campbell is?"  And your response being- you're a wife, mom, homeschool mom. But is that who I am?  No. It's my calling to be those things. But my privilege to be who God says I am. 

I am a child of God. I am a witness to his greatness and power. I am the righteousness of God. I am an overcomer. I am a warrior and I am more than able to take the land. 

So let your light shine. Like Job says "on whom does his light not rise?" 

Love that. Every one of us has a light that gets activated when we become a new creation in Christ. "So let your light shine before men that they may see your great works and praise God who is in Heaven!" Remember, when the light shines inside you, it's Jesus through you. It's his identity or mantle you've taken on.  Don't look at the shadows that follow you. Keep your focus on Jesus. Don't let distractions keep you from seeing your true identity. 

One last thing. Want to share my story with you. Today I was at the store with all my kids. Nothing new, same mundane thing. While I was there a lady approached me and said she felt like she had to talk to me. Long story short, I prayed with her in the middle of the parking lot and prophesied over her. I told her she was not only going to make women beautiful on the outside with her being a Mary Kay consultant but she was going to be in the Father's business of making women see their beauty in themselves but first she had to see that in her. She's crying, I'm overjoyed, my kids are in the car hollering!!  Lol

She hands me a business card and her email address says beautyinsideyou@.... 

I kid you not. So if God can use a homeschool mom, housewife to show the love and light of God, he can use anyone!

Be encouraged. Be the light. 

Goodbye 2015

As I look back over 2015 I realize what a roller coaster of emotions that year was: 

•Death of a friend

•Broken relationships

•Passing of a family member

•The start of another homeschool year

•Season of loneliness

•Wes and I become the Young Married's leaders at our church

•Plus so much more (ups and downs)

There was a mixture of hurt, sadness, disappointment along with joy, love, and purpose. Although I'm thankful the year is over I do love looking back. Not with regret but with the knowledge of how God was always there. In the midst of whatever we went through, I could see his love and provision. I learned a lot this year through the situations I had to walk through. Yet, I'm still learning. 

However, I look forward to this new year. I have such a high expectation for 2016. My spirit leaps inside me at the thought of a fresh start, a clean slate, a new season. I love seasons. I love what each brings. 

I'm not going to lie though. New seasons also scare me. As I enter each new year, I try to look down the road  ahead to what the year holds. Fear can sometimes take over. Want to know why?  Because I realize how much control I DON'T HAVE!  It's true though. I love to be in control of things. It helps with organization and planning. It helps with maintaining my home. But it's also a thorn in my flesh. A weak spot. I have no idea what this year will bring. I have no idea what losses I'll experience or what joy I'll have. And yes, it does scare me. But I don't want to walk in that fear. Fear of the unknown. I choose to trust my Heavenly Father. He has gone before me. 

"He has not given me a spirit of fear...." 2 Timothy 1:7

God, I look to you with great expectations this year. I trust you completely. Even though it's hard for me to write this because it sounds so morbid, I'm not going to hide the fact that I surrender these feelings to you. 

Your ways are not our ways and neither are your thoughts. "What joy for those whose strength is in the Lord.." Psalm 84:5

Happy new year. May the glory of God be in our homes, our hearts and in our relationships in 2016!

Half Mast

 

  Yesterday I was taking the kids to the park.  While in the car, Corban, who is 6, asked, “Mom, what’s going on with that flag?”  I looked out the passenger window and noticed a huge United States flag flying half mast.  I thought to myself- how am I going to explain this to him?  He is a very inquisitive little boy and a simple answer will not suffice.  So I replied, “When something bad happens in the world, people will fly their flags half way down the pole, which is called half-mast, to show respect and that they are thinking about what happened.”  

   Was he satisfied with that answer?  No.  “Mom, what happened in the world that was bad?”  Being very careful with my words, I said, “In a city really far away from here, across the ocean, some bad guys shot a bunch of people.”  Thinking I said too much for his little innocent heart to comprehend, he responds:

Corban- so there’s bad guys in the world

Me- yes

Corban- but there’s good guys too.  And when the bad guys started shooting, the good guys started shooting.  Then the bad guys started shooting some more.  But the good guys shot them and won.  

Me- you’re right Corban.  Good always wins.

   Seeing he was satisfied with his answer, I turned the radio up.  The first line we hear on the song from Blanca ‘greater is He, living in me, than he that is in the world’.  I said, “Did yall hear that?  In the bible there’s a scripture that says ‘greater is God in us, than the evil and fear that is in the world.’ (Paraphrased for their comprehension) There are bad people in this world.  But because God is inside of us, we don’t have to be afraid.  Because why?”

My older kids join in unison “because good ALWAYS wins”

   It’s extremely sad to me that I have to have these conversations with my first grader.  I’m pretty sure my mom never had to explain world tragedies to me at that age.  Which, I’m sure there were some pretty bad things that occurred during that time. I’m not here to bash social media.  It’s a great tool we have to keep in touch, but we do hear about such tragedies a lot fast than before.  Not only that, everyone we know has an opinion, me included, on the situation at hand. 

   Anyways, I want to encourage parents to not be afraid to tell your kids about world events.  Keep in mind their age and their innocence.  Their pure hearts can only handle so much. But, when your child does get older, share with them.  Ask them to share their feelings on it.  Let this be an opportunity to search the scriptures together, or as a family.  Build up their faith in God.  Let them know He is greater.  He has overcome the world (John 16:33). God always wins.  Teach them to still be bold in their faith and to share the love of Jesus with everyone.