As I look
back over the last few days, no, years of my life, I realize there have been
times I’ve been intimate with the Lord. But
lately I feel so detached. What gives? As a mom, my time is precious to me. If I want to work out, I must get up at 5:30
in the morning to do so or wait for them to go to bed at 8. But seriously, who has the energy to work out
that late? Yes, I said 8 pm is
late! Not to mention my quiet time with
my Heavenly Father. I crave intimacy and
quietness with Him. But like I mentioned
before, time just slips through your hands.
I’ve had my “quiet times” when the kids played quietly in the living
room, or when I’ve put a movie on for them or when they played in their
rooms. But I cannot bank on that every
day.
Today, I felt
starved for His presence. Dinner had to
be made. I had to make a quick run to
the store because I forgot to get everything I needed for dinner. The hubby was working late. The kids were literally at each other. If I heard, “sstttooooppppp. Mommmm, he/she
did…” I was going to scream! Who am I kidding? I did scream.
A little. Ok, a lot!
But isn’t
there some kind of special grace given to us moms during these “trying”
times? I seriously cannot make one day
without sitting with Jesus. Not just
reading the bible, but listening to his voice.
Where do we fit that in? I for
one have been asking God to make the time I spend with him count. Sometimes, all I have is 5 minutes. And He knows that. Sometimes all I have is putting a movie on
and laying on my bed praying and worshipping.
And I have found out, He meets me there.
I don’t have to wait for Sunday to come.
I don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn (unless I choose to), and I don’t
have to wait for everyone to go to bed. I
have been washing dishes before and began to worship Almighty God.
So by
writing this I have basically answered my questions. I know why I felt depleted today. I know why my patience ran thin. I know why I allowed stress to take
over. Because I chose to focus on my
shadows and not the true Light. His light
is to drive out darkness. His light on
my life, and yours, is to drive out all the distractions that keep us from
truly stepping into his presence.
So tomorrow
is a new day. tomorrow I choose to spend
quality time with Jesus. Even if it’s 10
minutes, I choose to turn off the distractions.
I choose to set aside the time I need to charge up my spirit man. Because I CANNOT parent without it. I cannot be the wife I need to be
either. I cannot be the woman of God he’s
called me to be either without the intimacy I get from spending time in His
presence.
